The Chicago Cubs players' Christmas Wishlist.

I have spent the last couple weeks contacting each of the Cub players and finding what they actually want for Christmas.

I figured I'd post what they wanted here so you all can go out and get gifts for them, to show that we actually do still care for them all.

• Ryan Dempster:  "A new hockey stick, eh."
  
• John Grabow: "I want a piggy bank for my $7.5 million."
  
• Z:  "I want to get enrolled in a Yoga class."
  
• Lou Piniella:  "A center fielder, and White Russia or a vodka and tonic.  Then I'm set"
  
• Jim Hendry:  "A box of Krispy Kreme's and a bottle of Coke"
  
• The Riot: "I've always wanted to get 'Coach Tom Emanski's Teaching the Mechanics of the Major League Baserunner'."
  
• Mike Fontenot: "Flintstones vitamins so I can grow up big and strong!"
  
• K-Fuk:  "$()#*^&(*##@%764)#$@#$%"  (I couldn't understand a word he said.)
  
• Geo Soto:  "I want an enrollment into Weight Watchers."
  
• Jeff Baker:  "What every scrappy player wants...a yoyo!"
  
• Hufflepuff:  "I need a new broom stick for playing Quidditch on.  I'm the new seeker!"
  
• Koyie Hill:  "I'd like to get a custom pair of Isotoner Gloves...with special thumbs on them."
  
• Carlos Marmol:  "I really need a new pair of eyeglasses...and a compass."
  
• Angel Guzman:  "I have been wanting to get a copy of the book 'How to Stay Healthy and on the Roster.' by Mark Prior."
  
• Alfonso Soriano:  "A pogo stick.  And a new knee."
  
• Starlin Castro: "I want another 2 years in the minor leagues.  Please, just let me develop!"
  
• Sloth:  "Rocky Rooooad or Baby Ruuuuth?!?!"
  
• Aramis Ramirez:  "A big mattress to land on over by third base when diving for balls."
  
• Sean Marshall: "A VW Rabbit"
  
• Derrek Lee:  "A new back weighted contract for 4 years and $75 million."
  
• Tom Ricketts:  "Urinals.  Oh, and maybe a couple hundred million dollars to help pay down some of my debt."
  
• Spellcheck:  "A Nerf football."
  
• Sam Fuld:  "I need a new pair of pants.  Someone stole my only pair."
  
• Randy Wells:  "GI Joe...or maybe some Transformers."
  
• Ted Lilly: "Nunchucks dammit!"
  
• David Patton:  "All I want is to not be sent down to the minors.  Please?"
  
• Milton Bradley:  Peace on Earth, and a trade to Tampa Bay.
  

So, if any of you can help out any by getting any of the Cubs some of these gifts, please send them wrapped to me, and I'll make sure they get into their hands for the holidays.