Saturday, May 1, 2010

Why are there so many disturbing things happening at Wrigley Field? we had to be on the road at 7am this morning.


Because of this:

Stupid 12:05 starting time...stupid doll...stupid construction on the Kennedy.

So there early enough to get the damn doll.

But then a bunch of disturbing stuff happened after that.  After what happened at the game on Monday and after what all happened today, I really have to start wondering about going to ball games.

So before the game I'm sitting and eating my slice of Connie's Pizza when all of the sudden a big scary thing that looked somewhat like that doll you see in the picture walked out to the pitcher's mound.


Dora the Explorer threw out a ceremonial first pitch today.  WTF!!!!

If that wasn't bad enough, a few minutes later, as I'm sipping down my 5th beer, this big fat ugly guy goes out to the mound to throw a ceremonial first pitch as well (how can you have more than one ceremonial first pitch???)...that big, fat, ugly guy was Vince Vaughn.  Why is it that so many shitty actors are Cubs fans?

So I'm completely spooked at this point.

Then I realized that the "Oh face" guy from Office Space actually has season tickets in the seats in front of me (I saw him sit there on opening day as I'm putting 2 and 2 together...).  At least this guy looks like, acts like, and talks like the "oh face" guy from Office Space.

The guy in the green shirt likes giving the "Oh face" at ballgames too. that is disturbing too.

But then all hell broke loose and I realized that practically no real Cubs fan were at the game today.  Why?

THE WAVE!?!?!?!?!
Yes, the wave broke out at Wrigley Field...and it made a good 4 or 5 trips around the ballpark.  How could this happen?  This is actually forbidden in the Bible, for heavens sake!  It is wrong.  It is evil.  It is a travesty.  You know why are people even remotely complaining about a stupid Toyota sign going up in the bleachers when things like "the Wave" are happening.  
If you want a recap of the game?  Well, Lee saved the day.  Our bullpen was good.  The D-Backs bullpen was horrible (again), and Cubs fans love Alfonso Soriano again.  Cubs win 7-5.  

Now I'm going to go to bed, if I can, and I hope I don't have nightmares about what I witnessed today.