Well...here we go.
- Ryan Theriot: Theriot said that he was locker-mates with Bradley. That's enough to make anyone completely lose it.
- Sam Fuld: Sam Fuld lack of production, yet love from the fans, led Bradley to be jealous. No one could focus on playing well with that crap going on.
- Me: I can honestly say, I'm the one that told Bradley there was 2 outs when he caught that fly ball against the Twins.
- My daughter: She was less than a year old at the time, but she booed Milton every chance she got. It hurt his feelings.
- Toyota: He had to continuously worry about the brakes on his Prius all season.
- Barack Obama: Stupid Democrats are trying to raise his taxes.
- Tiger Woods: Woods slept with Bradley's girlfriend, which really messed with his head.
- Margaret Thatcher: She's to blame for most of what has gone wrong over the last 30 years, right?
- Bud Selig: Selig's policy of promoting the game to racist people has been a problem to a number of players.
- Aaron Miles: Aaron Miles is evil. Pure evil.
- Von Joshua: He messed up Milton's swing.
- Bud Black: He messed up Milton's knee.
- The sun: Stupid sun always getting into Milton's eyes.
- Day baseball: Made him have to deal with the sun.
- God: Creation was a bad idea.
- Maddog: His faith in Bradley put too much pressure on him to perform.
- The Wrigley Field clubhouse: It's so small that Milton didn't have any space to pretend to hide from the press.
- Jim Hendry: Big Jim ate all of Milton's Twinkies before each game.
- CubbieJulie: Julie would distract him by flashing him while sitting in the bleachers. Shame on you, Julie.
- Dusty Baker: Dusty planted the thought in Milton's head that Cubs fans were racist. And Dusty kept sending him racist letters too.
- Jacque Jones: How could anyone ever fill this guy's shoes? Impossible task. Bradley was doomed to fail.
- Al Yellon: Al turned all the 12 year old boys in Chicago against Milton early in the season. Jerk.
- Lou Piniella: An incompetent moron.
- Avatar: Damn blue things kicking all the humans' asses. How dare they.
- Scarlett Johansson: The reasons are obvious.
- Sam Zell: His bankrupting of the Tribune company resulted in Bradley getting only a $30 million contract. Seriously, if they had paid him another $5 million a year, Bradley would have been more motivated.
- Microsoft: Windows 7 still sucks.
- Darth Sidious: Using and old Jedi mind trick against Milton.
- Global warming: The extra heat caused Milton to wear out more easily.
- Jerry Angelo: Bradley just couldn't understand the reasoning behind signing Orlando Pace.
- Kosuke Fukudome: If he was any good, none of this would have happened.